1.28.2010

OMDG.

Several weeks ago I was chatting with a coworker who is also an exmo.  Somehow or other the church came up in our conversation.  Another coworker approached and asked what we were talking about.

"Mormons."

"Oh, you mean that cult?" he responded bitterly.

For some reason, it always bothered me when people described Mormonism as a cult.  Thanks to television, the word "cult" always brings to mind people chanting in unison and putting on weird robes and drinking poisoned KoolAid so they can ride a comet to Heaven.

I have a lot of loved ones who are members of the church, and will likely always be, and the idea of them choosing to be nothing more than brainwashed drones is hard for me to take.  Part of me clings to the idea that, as misguided as the church is, most people in it are just trying to find a way to make sense of all the messed up things in the world.  That's the way I feel about all religion - even if there isn't a speck of truth to it.  If believing in something helps you to become the best version of yourself and feel happy, more power to you.

So even though there are a lot of things wrong with the LDS church, a lot of practices and policies that need to be changed or dropped, I still don't want to consider it a cult.

I mean, it's not like Scientology.

I don't understand how someone who isn't completely unhinged could consider joining Scientology.  Anyone with an internet connection can quickly and easily find out what they don't tell you at their introductory meetings.  Like how Scientologists actually teach that our souls are space aliens.

Seriously.

They say that an immortal race of space aliens were sent to Earth by their leader and now inhabit our bodies.  Only they've forgotten that they're actually space aliens, and think they're just humans.  So the whole point of Scientology is to help people realize that their space alien souls are divine and can maybe one day return to their home planet to live with their leader, Xenu, and

OHMYGODITSJUSTLIKEMORMONISM.

Seriously.

Mormons believe that their spirits are immortal, and that before Earth was created, we all lived on a distant planet called Kolob with Daddy God.  He sends our immortal spirits down to Earth to inhabit 'tabernacles of clay', mortal bodies.  Of course, along the way, we forget that we're actually spirit children of Daddy God, and we need the Mormon church and its teachings to help show us that we are divine and can maybe one day return to Kolob to live with Daddy God.

Oh.

My.

Daddy God.

Well, at least the Mormon church doesn't hide some of its most controversial teachings from its members until they've proven themselves 'worthy' by paying a certain amount of dues to the church, and....

Oh.

Okay, so, maybe Mormonism is a lot like Scientology.  But still, the word "cult" is a little harsh.  I mean, it's not like they hold super secret ceremonies where they chant in unison and wear... weird.... robes....

Shit.

They definitely don't drink KoolAid, though.  You can't have a cult without KoolAid!

Although as a Mormon, I always wondered how we were supposed to get from Kolob to Earth and back again.  Do you think we'd ride a comet?

I guess that leaves just one question.

L Ron Hubbard: Great Mormon, or GREATEST Mormon?

3 comments:

Ryan said...

Well put. Although I am no longer Mormon myself, I still have a hard time when people label the church as a "cult." Some of their actions during the past few years have been reprehensible, but the Mormon Church also does a lot of good as well, not to mention that many of my family members are Mormon.

Anonymous said...

Actually, in most cases is wasn't kool-aid, but rather, the costco-bulk, flavor aid. Have fun!

Snufflupagus said...

Though I agree with the sentiment, I'm pretty sure Xenu is an evil destroyer in the Scientology creation story.

I'm reading your archives because I liked your exit letter. Support and hearts and valentines.